This is the whiney post that declares I AM NOT A WHINER!!!
“Whiner” is a word med professionals use to describe people who overreact to their illnesses. I was labeled a whiner for a long time until the diagnosis came down.
For various reasons, involving more luck than effort, that word has been scrubbed from the vocab of my caregivers. Unless I go to an emergency room, that is.
Most Lymies are not so lucky. Still looking for some medical professional to take their illness seriously.
But I like to let my caregivers know I used to be a supremely healthy person, exercised, dieted — over-dieted, like most of the women of my generation. Over-exercised to keep that weight off, running farther and farther, sometimes dodging into places where the deer bedded down the grasses to pee in privacy, then continued my run. 10 miles, 15 miles, 20 miles.
Now, when I see runners and bikers go by my house, I think unkind, terribly mean thoughts, mainly along the lines of, “Why me? Why not you?” (But actually I use two words, I can’t use on a family-oriented blog.)
I want to go back to Dublin and run that wee race again. That was my goal three years ago. The goal seems farther away all the time.
This is the case for thousands and thousands, an epidemic of people with tick-borne diseases. A cure that seemed within weeks at diagnosis stays just beyond her grasp, then becomes a dream.
And with that dream of a cure comes the dream of regaining something lost. Something he wants back, very, very badly.