Completely rethinking my thinking about this blog. Or thinking about not overthinking it. What this current life of mine needs is fewer huge projects with deadlines and more focus on making-as-therapy. What is it about us that we have to turn everything we do into a race with a finish line?

Production! Production! Production? Screw it.

As soon as I put a goal out there, I stopped drawing. And that’s telling me something.

So, now I’m just drawing. And sometimes the drawing takes a long time. Today’s snapshot is of an unfinished page I’m working on filling. It sort of reminds me of the kinds of hallucinations I had before I knew what I had and started treating it. But those were three- or four-dimensional, of course, and the images seemed completely disconnected. But they were black-and-white.

Also reminds me of my high school notebooks, which I wish I still had.

But good news is, I’ve been getting a little writing-for-hire done, here and there. Getting back to work feels good. And today am starting on a new run at IV antibiotics that, I truly believe, will be my last. Shhh… I need to believe it, okay? Just let me believe it.

I haven’t lost my soul, folks. I am thinking about the day when I’m back to normal and can do something to raise money for Lyme disease research. I’ll think about that when I’m healthy enough to think about that, and not a minute before.

Particularly what is nagging at me is the idea of an Ushahidi site that will let people report about Lyme disease in their area. A map showing spottings of ixodes scapulari, of lyme disease in animals, of CDC positive cases, of doctor-diagnosed cases, of suspected cases. Maybe using the Crowdmap engine?

If you have the mad skills and the time and the inclination to work on this before I do, please go ahead. The sooner it’s up, the sooner people can show, graphically, their experience. Needs to be a world map. My immediate concern is for the States in the Middle, with little to no funding to train their health care workers to recognize or diagnose or treat Lyme when it hits. But Great Britain and Europe are having similar reporting/recognition/funding problems. This project would need a good science advisor or three. Hmm..


One thought on “Reboot

  1. I love this drawing you are doing! I’ve been dealing with Lyme for almost 20 years now. Over and over and over and over again…. therapys, antibiotics, pain pills, you know the drill…. and still, it’s present and messing with my life. Before it took me DOWN I was a singer songwriter, art teacher, meditator, deeply into all things spiritual, and published mandala coloring books. Art is the one most excellent escape and therapy. I love your blog. Thank you so much for sharing, for being so honest about how awful this disease is. Just admitting the reality of this is a very huge and difficult step. Denial gets us just so far, and that is actually even deeper into the disease. I wish you grace and love and blessings. Keep on writing and drawing. Thank You!

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